Transfer Deadline Day is like the Beautiful Game’s very own New Year’s Eve. Sure there’s a big build up, the excitement is palpable. Anything is possible on the day when managers lurch across the transfer dancefloor looking for someone to kiss at midnight.
But as any reveller who paid £30 to get into Milton Keynes’ WonderWorld will attest to, NYE ends up in tears, heels in hand as you cry into your doner kebab – just like Deadline Day then.
What’s fascinating from a social point of view is how do you cover the razzamatazz of such a day when nothing’s happening?
Well firstly, you can’t polish a turd – football fans can smell a rat if you do, so don’t – something Paddy Power know all too well…
Another HUGE update from the Sky Sports News studio! #DeadlineDay pic.twitter.com/Zuk68ufd6M
— Paddy Power (@paddypower) February 2, 2015
But what about the clubs? How do they convince fans to stick with them despite doing naff all hours before the window slams shut? (The window never closes it always slams)
Lower league clubs love BANTER. Banter is their weapon. Banter is the way they mix it with the big boys despite only signing a second-choice Accrington Stanley left back on a short-term loan.
We are working on one big deal. Talks had stalled but we have made a big promises for the future. #skydeadlineday pic.twitter.com/CJELqxcKXE
— Macclesfield FC (@thesilkmen) February 2, 2015
Close to getting our man! Hopefully the Chairman's car parking space seals it… #DeadlineDay pic.twitter.com/rBR2Wn61NE
— Crawley Town FC (@crawleytown) February 2, 2015
Hahaha. Toure!? At Macclesfield!? Aguero!? At Crawley!? Lolz.
Of course some clubs (or owners) decide to just lie. Here’s David Gold’s tweet just before West Ham announced the signing of absolutely no one…
Don't go to bed. dg
— David Gold (@davidgold) February 2, 2015
Yeah cheers David, it’s not like I have to get up tomorrow or anything.
Next up is the players. One way the press spice up Deadline Day is by following the inane tweets of professional footballers in the hope they’ll reveal their next move. Of course, the likes of Benoit Assou-Ekotto just do it for them – see this particularly subtle change of Twitter profile picture after the Cameroonian left Spurs…
.@AssouEkotto's new profile picture http://t.co/7nNoJe1ztL pic.twitter.com/x122iYmhkN
— Mail Sport (@MailSport) February 2, 2015
And what about the brands? Well they have a little more free rein even if they are trying to convince you to stick a tenner on the colour of Jim White’s tie. If it’s rubbish (which it was) they can say it how it is without having the restraints of the press, who didn’t even have the excitement of someone waving a sex toy at one of their reporters in Stoke this year.
'Was it an exciting #DeadlineDay?' You can be the judge of that when we tell you this was the highlight… pic.twitter.com/ifiHKzXC9Y
— Coral (@Coral) February 2, 2015
So what have we learnt? Transfer Deadline Day rarely lives up to its billing, but that doesn’t mean your sick day needs to be wasted. In fact, Twitter saved this year’s damp squib so don’t underestimate the power of those 140 characters when telling a story (however boring).
And in a Morecambe and Wise styley, I will leave you with a song. Until next Transfer Deadline Day!
David Moyes ft Elton John ft Blue…Deadliest EPL trio https://t.co/ufc6StXGRl
— Football FanCast (@FootballFanCast) February 2, 2015
By Greg Newcombe, Editor in Chief of FootballFanCast.com